As mentioned in our A Beginner's Guide to Fan Fiction by Susan Hillwig, we're test-driving a new Fan Fiction feature in keeping with the spirit of ol' school print 'zines. Without further ado, we present to you our first fan fiction submission written by the very talented Ellen Fleischer...
Bearding the Lion in His Den by Ellen Fleischer
“Looking for something?”
The female intruder whirled about, a sultry smile on her lips and a champagne flute in her right hand. “I’m so sorry,” she purred. “I think there must be something wrong with the heat. I didn’t think you’d mind if I just stole in for a little drink.”
Luthor’s eyes narrowed as he took in the opened red-and-gold bottle. “Is that the Cristal Brut 1990?”
Catwoman laughed. “I think it must be. My compliments.”
His temper was about to get the better of him. “I paid over seventeen thousand dollars at auction for that bottle!”
“Really?” She took a languid sip. “I think you got taken. Still, it’s certainly an acceptable vintage. Care to join me?”
“I’m calling security.”
Catwoman smiled. “My, my. Calling out the big guns for one unarmed woman. Aren’t we brave and daring?”
“I didn’t get to where I am by underestimating my adversaries.” He spoke into an intercom. “Security!” Turning back to face her, he glowered, “I don’t know what you came to take or how you thought you could get away with it, but I can assure you, you won’t. Security!”
“Um, I’m jamming that,” Catwoman said with an apologetic shrug. “I didn’t want any interruption if you were going to take me up on the champagne.
Furiously, Luthor crossed to his desk and pulled open the bottom drawer, revealing a safe. It didn’t appear to be tampered with, but he wasn’t about to relax.
“Please!” she yawned. “Do you actually think I’m interested in chump change? And I saw you slip the Kryptonite ring in your pocket,” she added. “Be careful with that. Too much exposure can cause all sorts of complications. Even in humans.”
“Your concern for my health is most touching,” Luthor growled. “Why are you here?”
“Oh, just hanging around. Waiting.”
Luthor’s eyes widened. He dashed to the sliding doors, stepped out on his balcony and looked out at the street below, then to concrete ledges at left and right, straining his peripheral vision. He stepped back inside. “Where is he?”
“He?” Selina asked blankly. “I’m sure I don’t know who you’re talking about.” She smiled. “Oh, you thought… no, that’s not who—or what—I was waiting for. But you should be very pleased. In about fifteen minutes…” she raced to the balcony, sliding easily under the arms he stretched out to block her exit and leaping to the railing, “…There’s a wildlife preserve in Tanzania that’ll be singing your praises. Or rather, the praises of the anonymous donor who transferred a cool eight million from his offshore account to theirs. And of course,” she laughed, “you have my thanks, as well.” She leaped off the railing and into the night, a split second before Luthor reached her.
“You’re bluffing!” he snarled after her retreating figure. There’s no way you could know my access codes.”
There was no answer. With mounting horror, Lex dug out his smart phone and called up his banking information. He smiled. The funds were untouched. An instant later, his face paled as the balance in the account dwindled from fifteen million to twelve, to ten, and finally, to seven. A small piece of paper drifted down from on high.
He picked it up, read it, and craned his neck to look up with an angry growl. A lithe figure waved back and pointed. He followed the direction of her finger to a small camera, all but hidden in the shadows.
He growled again and looked at the paper.
Above a red lipstick imprint were three small words.
I do now.
Ellen Fleischer has been writing fanfiction for over 12 years. She is currently the managing editor for Indyfest Magazine and is hard at work on her first novel. Her fanfiction works appear under the pseudonym Esther-Channah at fanfiction.net and Dragonbat at archiveofourown.org. Fan fiction written by Ellen Fleischer. Permission to reprint this text must be obtained by Ellen Fleischer. Catwoman and Lex Luthor are property of DC comics, Ellen is just borrowing them for this story. ;)
Tsujigo/Jeffrey Brown is a big DC comics fan and self-publishes The Valkyrie Quartet web comic. You can read more about Tusijio here.